RainbowBrite
Please call me Cian.
22. Toronto. Pansexual/genderqueer. Though I'm still confused as to where I belong in the gender spectrum, I believe that I fall more under the pan/gq categories. The problem is, for me, there are too many categories.
No updates in a while. Sorry ‘bout that.
A friend of mine is slowly coming out as genderqueer as well. I’m super glad to have met her. We’ve become fast friends, and we’ve been helping each out a lot.
I’ve been dealing with a lot of different emotions lately. I seem to have it in my head that coming out as genderqueer isn’t a big deal to other people. But in all honesty, for me at least, it really, really is.
My reasoning? Because I am both, and yet I am neither. No, I don’t completely feel as though I was born in the wrong body. Most of the time, I do enjoy my male self. But there are times when I just envy the glorious gifts that women have been given. I want to badly to change myself, to be more feminine, to live life the way the other half does. It’s a constant struggle every single day.
As my dear friend Daeryn put it, it’s like the two genders inside of me are clashing, like they are constantly at war with each other. Every morning is a struggle because I never know what I will wake up as. Sometimes I awake and feel comfortable in my own body. But then there are the mornings that I wake up and feel more like a woman. And when I look in the mirror, I don’t see that feminine reflection. I see…this. And this isn’t something that I am always proud of.
(Source: heavenisworththewait)
Part Two of my video blog Q&A
You, my love, are spectacular. I am so proud of you for this. I know it was a big step, and just remember that I’m here for you always.
And what are you talking about, you’re good at video blogs! You should do it more often.
(Source: endless-hurricane)
